im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
