Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
