Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
