I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
