Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
