I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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