Whod you bang
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
