woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
COCAINE IS GR8
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
