The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
