Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you had me at cake vodka
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
