How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I puked a lego.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
