I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
