Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
