I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize