i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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