Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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