he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
