How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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