Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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