Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
