My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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