Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
