Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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