O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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