bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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