im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
