you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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