Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
