Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize