um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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