he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
