Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize