handjob tips. give me some.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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