Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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