so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
