Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
