Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
is it fun? or sober?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
