ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
