I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
