I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
