I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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