Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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