My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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