She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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