your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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