The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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