A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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