Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
