im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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