that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
