It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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