dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
