I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
