I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
