Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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