Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
