i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
