Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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