Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
