Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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